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| Hmm.. I forgot about you xanga. Update?
I feel like I'm just barely existing.. I'm only doing what I need to in order to survive. It's pathetic.
I've shut out my family and I've no idea why.. I just feel like escaping. September where art thou..
Don't really know what's going on. Just trying to stay sane till then.
Keep having crazy fucking dreams. I'm always running away and stealing these vehicles and driving all crazy like.. and something bad always happens and I'm always getting stuck. Sigh.
Ohh thrice?
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| i think things are really going to get better this time.
emerson makes me so happy.. :)
i'm trying to change the way i think about people.
try not to hate so much.
hmm.
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| fuck my life...
i have no idea what's going on with my head. i can't remember anything and i just can't get organized.. it's driving me crazy and i'm so stressed out. work drives me mental. i've been missing all my appointments for doctors and friends.. like, it's really not that difficult you'd think. fuck. i feel like an awful person. i haven't even seen my grandma in like, two months. like i always have shit to do but i never get anything done. i need like... two whole days just to myself maybe. lock myself in my room. play world of warcraft and just, not think. then maybe i'll come back to life and have my head on straight.... or whatever lol. i might be moving to brandon soon. either in january or march. yikes. this is just ridiculous. i can not wait to get my world of warcraft back..lol xanga helps me sort out my thoughts.
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| is it really all in my head? or is life really this pointless. am i missing it? it's just so much work to be happy. i'd be thinking all the time, trying really hard to see the good things.. i have a headache. i hate being an addict. i hate falling for the wrong people because my head plays games with me. i have no idea what i'm doing or going to do. trying my best to think positive and just live day by day. i don't know. i'm just so tired of being around a bunch of idiots that can't think for themselves. i want to go far far away where i don't have to think and make decisions for 20 other people. agh.
august can't come fast enough. though something will happen where i can't go to europe. i don't even care where i go. as long as it's really far away from here. fuck flin flon. i'm so done with this town and everyone who is trying to make me stay here.
fuck everyone.
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| sooo.... i can't wait to leave this place.
i'm moving soon. probably in march-ish. emmer is getting a job somewhere out of town sometime soon hopefully. i am leaning towards brandon. that would be awesome. kayli lives there and my sister lives like an hour away. it would be nice. anything but alberta is good with me. chicken chef is driving me fucking crazy. i'm going to apply at the hospital i think. iunno. i'm gonna go, this isn't my computer ha.
yay flip flop.
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